i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
