Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
