I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize