oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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