she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
