Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
