k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
