Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
