its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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