You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
