Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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