Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
