Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
