Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i came on her dog
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
