Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
