i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
