Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dignity is for republicans.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
