Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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