We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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