yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
