Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
