i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize