my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The power of my boobs compel you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
