You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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