so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
