I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
