Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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