oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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