Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
