she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
