For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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