sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
