I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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