Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
