i just had sex bonerless
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
