Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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