she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
