She said her name was "party"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
