I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
