OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
