You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
