STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
