I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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