the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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