I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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