its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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