I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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