My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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