Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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