the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
