Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
