someone threw a dead crab at me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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