Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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