i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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