i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
