haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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