Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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