ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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