Apparently you make a good broom.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
