Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your cock deserves a montage
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
