I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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