There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
