yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
