lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
