Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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