wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
