I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize